Bears Defense to take over offense

Defensive Players Will Now Also Run Offensive Scoring Plays

Bears Defense To Play Offense As Well

Citing lack of production from the offense, the Chicago Bears defense has announced they will be taking over the scoring duties as well as the defensive chores.

” I don’t see no offense out there’ said Kahlil Mack, all-pro defensive outside linebacker for the team. ‘ Somebody’s got to take the ball into the end zone. The right end zone. Looks like it’s going to have to be us.”

“Whoever that guy is in the ’10’ jersey, he ain’t gettin’ it done. Looks like it falls to us” chimed in linebacker Roquan Smith. ‘We’ll just take the ball down the field and knock the hell out of anyone who gets in our way.  Cause, hey- that’s what we do.”

Several team members expressed support for Mitch Trubisky, embattled quarterback of the team.

“I’m sure there’s a place in the organization for him’ said safety Eddie Jackson. ‘ I mean, the assistant equipment manager isn’t  getting any younger, you know?”